18 Years

Since it has been 18 years, our wedding photos were actually taken with film cameras.  I do not have a scanner, so you will just have to imagine what we looked like back then---minus all the happy marriage weight from babies and good cooking and a little more hair on T’s head. 

When I reflect on the time T and I have had together so far, it just is surprising to me how the time has quickly gone by.  Coming out of the temple with my hand in my husband’s, I could not have imagined that it would have gone as fast as it has.  The things we have filled our lives with over the past 18 years have sure kept us busy.  I think because of that, the years have come and gone much quicker than we had had imagined. 

I just know without a doubt that there is not anyone I would rather have beside me than T.  He is the perfect man for me.  He balances me perfectly.  I firmly believe that Heavenly Father knew what he was doing when he placed him in my life. 

Here we are living on our little acreage in the state that runs through our blood and feels like home, enjoying our 4 children and one little one on the way, grateful for all we have been blessed with and all the experiences we have shared together to make us closer and stronger.  We know there is still more to come and look forward to it together. 

Happy Anniversary T!

  I loved you 18 years ago, love you stronger today, and will continue to grow more in love with you in the years to come.

OUR J BIRD

We had been married almost 4 years, and life was going pretty good for T, M and I.  M and I hung out as much as possible with me having to work and go to school.  We had some real hard times with that her and I, but we worked through it the best we knew how.  She was my little shadow at home and I was her playmate for the most part.  Then the summer before my last year of college, T and I realized that it was time to give M a sibling.  She was pretty independent on a lot of things. I always wanted my children to be far enough apart that they would do some things on their own and we only had one child in diapers at a time.  So you can only imagine the joy M had when we told her she was going to be a big sister.  She was very excited.  I was due a month before I was to graduate.  I figured that would be perfect because then I was be pretty much recuperated before I went through graduation ceremony. 

This was back in the day before 3-D ultrasounds, so with J they were not absolutely sure she was girl like they were with M but said more than likely she was.  M loved to touch my belly and feel the baby kick and talk to the baby.  It was all so sweet.  Then I was one week overdue and getting so ready for this baby to come, but nothing was happening.  Then we were almost through the second week and after trying some natural ways to induce labor and not being successful, the doctor stripped my membranes and said if nothing happens, we will induce on Monday. 

This happened on Thursday night.  I started feeling contractions at about 5 in the morning and they were not too uncomfortable.  But I had begun pacing the house and little miss M. was pacing with me.  She did not want to leave my side but we told her that she would stay with Grandma and when we called, she could come see her baby sister.  She was still a little worried because she never left my side until grandma came and we said goodbye.  That was about 8 in the morning. 

T and I got things together and went to the hospital.  By 11:30 little J. bird had been born.  We thought she was broken because she never cried.  The delivery was completely opposite of M’s and that is all we knew before this one, so I was concerned for awhile that something was wrong with her, but the nurses assured me that it was her personality.  We chuckled because J weighed the same as M exactly but was longer by a couple of inches.

It did not work out exactly as planned because four days after she was born I stood in my graduating line, and it was not easy to stand that long just after giving birth, but I made it….we made it!!

She was so scrawny like a tiny bird that we started calling her J. bird.  She was so quiet and did not make any fuss unless she was being over loved by big sister or hungry.  She was very patient.  As time has gone on and her personality has blossomed, she is a very stubborn girl and there is no budging her when she gets something set in her mind. 

She is patient and kind. She works hard and is dedicated to those things she loves.  She is a good big sister.  She does not demand too much.  She is not a girly girl like her other two sisters. She enjoys the outdoors and has a great love of animals.  She loves learning to play the guitar and shooting guns.  She loves time with her dad.  They have been buddies since she was little.

I am blessed to call her my daughter. She blesses our lives daily. 

Happy Birthday My Sweet J. Bird!!!!

OUR BABY GIRL

T and I had been married a month.  We were working hard and going to school.  I was busy grieving my mother and getting used to married life, which I believe may have been less stressful had we not lived so close to our families right off.  The Lord knew a baby is what I needed even if I did not know it at the time. 
Everyone else saw the signs before me because I had never been pregnant before what did I know about signs of pregnancy.  My sister J helped T pick out a pregnancy test and bring it to work for me, because once the possibility of a baby was suggested to me there was no way I could wait to get off work to find out, I had to know right away. 
I will never forget the looks on both our faces when the results showed we were pregnant.  T could not stop smiling, and I was in a daze.  Neither one of us knew how our lives would change, but we were happy to be starting a family of our own. 
I was on a huge long roller coaster of emotions because events were happening in my life that were out of my control at the time, and I was grieving my mother hard.  I was being suffocated by so many thoughts and feelings and it was hard to truly appreciate my pregnancy and the promise and joy that a newborn baby brings. 
I read to my stomach all the time.  I sang songs.  T and I went to all the doctor appointments together.  I was reading an LDS novel around the time of my ultrasound that when we had the ultrasound, the name we had picked out for a girl was totally thrown out the window and the title of the book I was reading and my mother’s middle name became her name. We were having a little girl!  When that was told to me, and I saw her on the monitor things became even more real.
She gave us a scare close to the end of my pregnancy when I had not felt her move for a day.  I worked with a lady who had a stillbirth, and she immediately shoved me out the door and another coworker took me to the hospital where T met us to have the baby monitored.  It took 30 minutes for the nurse to find a heartbeat.  I have never been so scared and so very relieved when I finally heard her heartbeat. 
Three days before her due date, I had a doctor’s appointment and went in because I had some signs that I was starting labor.  The doctor told us to go home and when I lost the twinkle in my eye to come back to the hospital.  I went about my business that day.  Contractions were happening but not too bad.  Then later that night they were annoying me, so we went to the hospital where they checked me out and sent us home. 
Then later on in the night we were back at the hospital because the contractions were closer together, and I was not able to sleep at all.  They checked me and admitted me so they could give me something to sleep for a little while so that I would be rested when things really started rolling. 
Finally, they decided to break my water and we were down to business.  Thirty-six hours later, we finally had our baby girl. She was beautiful. She came out screaming at the top of her lungs, and she has not quit talking ever since.  She came into this world with dramatic flare just like her personality.
M. is such a joy in our lives.  She has educated us on so many levels.  T and I and M have endured and survived so many things together.  I know the Lord gave her to us for a reason. 
She is our drama queen.  She likes talking, singing, and talking some more.  She is artistic like her father.  She loves to shop.  She is a good friend.  She is a good example to her siblings.  She is loyal and dependable.    She is not a hugger and a kisser.…like me, but she still lets me tuck her in sometimes with a hug and a kiss.
She has strong opinions and beliefs that make us so proud to be her parents.  Our sweet baby girl has grown into a beautiful, compassionate, young woman.  She stretches me as a mother and teaches me so much. 
It has not always been easy, but we are glad she is ours.  I am very blessed to be her mother and have really enjoyed helping her become who she is today.  I get teary eyed thinking about this last year before she is 18.  Raising M has gone by faster than I care to admit.

Happy Birthday Baby Girl!  

My Little Cee

I have been thinking quite a bit about my children and how they came to be in our little family.  This month is our Little Cee’s birthday month.  She is the youngest of the girls but number 3 in our family. 
T needed a change of employment and a change of scenery in the year 2001 and so we embarked on a move to Oregon. Just before we made that decision and move, we found out we were expecting.  I was 22 years old but would be 23 by the time the baby was born and had been a mom for 5 years already.  We were EXCITED to be adding to our family.  
The pregnancy itself was not hard, but what was happening in our lives during the pregnancy was VERY hard.  It made for a lot of nights of crying myself to sleep.  T got sick and broke out in hives on his feet, we could not seem to get rid  of them. We tried all kinds of things. 
There was the secret hope with this baby that it would be a boy because T needed a little boy buddy and someone to carry on his name.  The ultrasound confirmed that we were being BLESSED with yet another little girl.  I was okay with that because that meant they could all share a room, and I did not have to purchase different clothes. 
T saw it as a lot of prom dresses and three weddings to save for and lots of sleepless dating nights.   Then through MANY prayers and discussions, T and I decided that Oregon was not a place we could permanently put down roots and a month before Cee was born we decided to move back to Idaho. 
All I could focus on at the time was having this baby.  I would think about everything else when that was done.  So 4 days before her due date, I woke up around midnight with a sudden urge to use the bathroom and a mild contraction when my water broke.  I woke T and he woke his mother to let her know what was happening, and T and I made the 20 mile drive to Salem, Oregon.  We had driven this route several times so that T would feel comfortable driving there on his own. (He hates big cities and driving in them.) 
We made it to the hospital and they got me all settled.  I loved this hospital because they allowed me to whatever I wanted.  I was really into using Essential Oils during my labor and pregnancy, and they were all for that.  I could get in a pool or use a birthing ball, but for me I am about getting the job done.  So I bypassed the pool and the ball. I walked the halls for hours, because the contractions were not hard enough to take of business. 
I felt bad for T. because he was exhausted.  I at least had the excitement of going into labor, so I was not tired at all.  We finally conferred with the doctor that this little munchkin needed a kick start, so they started me on small dose pitocin at around 6 in the morning.  That is when the party really got started, and we were in business.  At 10 in the morning, little miss Cee made her debut in this world.  She weighed 8 pounds.  She was pudgy. She had fat rolls (fat rolls according to our standards) because her sisters before her were scrawny.
Her labor and delivery is just like her personality. She is my I will get to it when I get to it girl. She is easy going. 
It was fun to watch her two older sisters respond to her. M was so mothering and J did not want to be left out but was just little enough she was not able to do everything M was able and had to be watched because she was at least going to try because M could. These two older sisters did everything for her. Cee did not talk as fast as M and J because her sisters talked for her. They did everything for her. We had hard wood floors, so she scooted herself across them.  She did not actually crawl until Christmas time at Grandma and Grandpa’s where they had nice soft carpet. 
Cee has been my little shadow since day one.  As she has gotten older, she goes off on her own, but she still comes searching for me more than her other siblings do.  She is a kisser and a hugger.  She is very tender hearted.   It always breaks my heart to be the one to cause the tears, but they come very easily for her.  She loves to snuggle.  Her daddy thinks she gives good back rubs and foot rubs. 
She plays the piano and sings to her heart’s content.  Cee reminds me of my mother and being able to tell what kind of mood she is in, because when she is happy, she is singing and my mom was like that.  Cee is her grandpa E.’s twin.  She looks so much like him.  
She is the best 11-year-old girl a mom could have.  I feel very blessed to be her mother.  I have enjoyed her so much, and I know I will continue to enjoy her.  She is catching up to me in height and she wears my shoe size.  She is beautiful, and we love her dearly!

How We Announced It

I was starting to get sick and having symptoms, so I knew the kids would start getting suspicious.  T and I decided it was time to announce it.  On Monday night, we had a family home evening lesson about family, and then for the activity, I passed out brown sacks with a note, a pair of baby socks, a pink sucker and blue sucker (these were all hints if they did not understand the note). 

I passed out the bags to each of the kids, and I told the girls to not say a word as they read it, because this was K’s first time, we wanted him to read it out loud.  M read hers the fastest and said, “I know what this means, I’m not dumb.”  J read and whispered, “Are we having a baby?”  and I got after her, because I wanted K to read his before it was really talked about.  Silly girl never listens (he he).  C was laughing, but I think it was at J.  Then K read the following:

Sugar and spice and everything nice or snips and snails and puppy dog tails is coming to our family September 16, 2013.  Congratulations big brother!!!  (The girls of course said big sister).

We had to talk to him about this because he was not sure.  He first said “I’m going to be 8!”  We told him that was true, but was he a big brother?  He said “We are having a baby!!”  He was so excited he almost cried.  He hugged me, he hugged his dad said thank you, thank you.  I have never had a child act so excited, granted he is older than they were. 

He is so thoughtful and asks about the baby all the time.  It will be a long 7-8 months for him. 

Then because our kids cannot keep secrets.  They were facebooking and texting friends immediately, I hurried and sent out a mass text with the following picture to everyone.

             M                     J                     C                      K            ?

The only one we had to personally call was my daddy, because he does not receive texts.  I thought my phone was going to explode with all the texts and calls, etc. 

All the kids are excited.  They started picking out names, they want to buy clothes.  They cannot wait to find out what we are having.   If I did not have morning sickness, I may have waited longer to announce because this is going to take forever for them, but crazy as it seems, I am already showing, so I guess either way I would not have been able to keep it a secret long.

Patience

The one virtue that I am severely lacking in.  I wanted to have all my kids three years apart that was a perfect age for me.  I had them potty trained and able to do things by themselves so when another baby came along I did not feel quite as overwhelmed.  So as planned in my mind when K was the age to start trying, I was dumbfounded that I was not pregnant the next month like I was with all the others. I did not become concerned for a year or so and learned of something called secondary infertility.  Just because you have had children in the past does not mean you cannot become infertile.

We had four beautiful children, so I never felt the need to do anything medical to have any more.  I did have the feeling that I was not done, but then when one year turned into two and then three, I figured it was my own selfish need to want another little baby to hold and nurture and love because my baby was growing up and not needing me as much as before. 

I tried harder in my callings thinking that if I did better there, the Lord would bless us with a baby.  I was happy for friends and family who announced their  pregnancies but just a little sad because I was broken. I prayed if it was his will and then tried to be happy with the fact that He had other plans for me.  Big changes came in our life and so we felt it was probably better if we postpone, so for a year baby was put on a back burner, but T and I would go through baby hunger phases, and we would see little babies and remember the fun and the joy they are. 

When I was released from the young women’s presidency, I asked one last time if we could be blessed with a baby. We had mentally gotten to a spot where we were okay with just being a family of 6.  We love our little family, and we had started making some different plans and setting goals for our future. Plus I am closer to 40, and I swore that I would not be 40 and having a child because I am a product of older parents and I love my life and my parents; I just did not want to be that age and having babies.  At Christmas, it was announced that we would be taking a trip in 2013, so we discussed that we needed to take precautions so that we could make that trip.  Well, we made it through December, January greeted us with the flu for the kids and “the flu” for me, which I thought I got from the kids. 

I had some other symptoms that I attributed to some other things going on in my life, but being pregnant was not one of them until one day, I decided why not use the pregnancy test that was in our food storage.  (It was left over from a previous time we thought I might be…..no we do not put tests in our food storage).  When that test came back positive, I was stunned and rationalized that the test was probably expired because it was from a few years ago.  So I went to the store, and purchased a box that had three tests. (The one with three was cheaper than the ones with just one….go figure.) 

I was so unbelieving that I took all three of them and still was not ready to believe it.  There is one person I have a hard time keeping any secret from and that is my honey, so I told him right away and he was in disbelief as well.   There went all the plans that we had just made for 2013 and the goals we had set will now need to be tweaked a bit. 

This baby is due on his/her brother’s birthday.  We know this baby was meant to come at this time and will be a huge blessing to our family.  Now that we are not quite as shell shocked, we are excited!!!

Some Questions to Ponder….Or Not

1.  Do you have a 16-year-old learning to drive in the winter? 

2.  Do you have a car windshield that looks like this?

 

3. Do you still have Christmas decorations up?

4. Did you get pitch all over your hands when you took down your Christmas tree?

5.  Does your floor look like this from taking decorations off?

6.  Do you wonder why your girls need more than one bottle of body wash in their shower?

7. Do you use the couch cover as a blanket when you are tired?

8. Do you ever catch your son doing something he probably should not be doing?

 

9.  Did you have mice eat your Christmas stockings, so you used boots?

10.  Are you as excited about 2013 as I am?