What We Are Asked To Do

We have been counseled to keep journals. There are some things that happen in life that should be shared and others more sacred to be kept for another time that I write in my personal journal. This blog is my way of sharing those things I want to share with all of you.

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

OUR BABY GIRL

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T and I had been married a month.  We were working hard and going to school.  I was busy grieving my mother and getting used to married life, which I believe may have been less stressful had we not lived so close to our families right off.  The Lord knew a baby is what I needed even if I did not know it at the time. 
Everyone else saw the signs before me because I had never been pregnant before what did I know about signs of pregnancy.  My sister J helped T pick out a pregnancy test and bring it to work for me, because once the possibility of a baby was suggested to me there was no way I could wait to get off work to find out, I had to know right away. 
I will never forget the looks on both our faces when the results showed we were pregnant.  T could not stop smiling, and I was in a daze.  Neither one of us knew how our lives would change, but we were happy to be starting a family of our own. 
I was on a huge long roller coaster of emotions because events were happening in my life that were out of my control at the time, and I was grieving my mother hard.  I was being suffocated by so many thoughts and feelings and it was hard to truly appreciate my pregnancy and the promise and joy that a newborn baby brings. 
I read to my stomach all the time.  I sang songs.  T and I went to all the doctor appointments together.  I was reading an LDS novel around the time of my ultrasound that when we had the ultrasound, the name we had picked out for a girl was totally thrown out the window and the title of the book I was reading and my mother’s middle name became her name. We were having a little girl!  When that was told to me, and I saw her on the monitor things became even more real.
She gave us a scare close to the end of my pregnancy when I had not felt her move for a day.  I worked with a lady who had a stillbirth, and she immediately shoved me out the door and another coworker took me to the hospital where T met us to have the baby monitored.  It took 30 minutes for the nurse to find a heartbeat.  I have never been so scared and so very relieved when I finally heard her heartbeat. 
Three days before her due date, I had a doctor’s appointment and went in because I had some signs that I was starting labor.  The doctor told us to go home and when I lost the twinkle in my eye to come back to the hospital.  I went about my business that day.  Contractions were happening but not too bad.  Then later that night they were annoying me, so we went to the hospital where they checked me out and sent us home. 
Then later on in the night we were back at the hospital because the contractions were closer together, and I was not able to sleep at all.  They checked me and admitted me so they could give me something to sleep for a little while so that I would be rested when things really started rolling. 
Finally, they decided to break my water and we were down to business.  Thirty-six hours later, we finally had our baby girl. She was beautiful. She came out screaming at the top of her lungs, and she has not quit talking ever since.  She came into this world with dramatic flare just like her personality.
M. is such a joy in our lives.  She has educated us on so many levels.  T and I and M have endured and survived so many things together.  I know the Lord gave her to us for a reason. 
She is our drama queen.  She likes talking, singing, and talking some more.  She is artistic like her father.  She loves to shop.  She is a good friend.  She is a good example to her siblings.  She is loyal and dependable.    She is not a hugger and a kisser.…like me, but she still lets me tuck her in sometimes with a hug and a kiss.
She has strong opinions and beliefs that make us so proud to be her parents.  Our sweet baby girl has grown into a beautiful, compassionate, young woman.  She stretches me as a mother and teaches me so much. 
It has not always been easy, but we are glad she is ours.  I am very blessed to be her mother and have really enjoyed helping her become who she is today.  I get teary eyed thinking about this last year before she is 18.  Raising M has gone by faster than I care to admit.
Happy Birthday Baby Girl!