If It Was Not For 2012…

We would not have sold our home only to buy another one TWO months later. That we absolutely LOVE!!!

I would not have thrown a surprise 16th birthday party for my oldest child.

I would not have tried to help mold the minds of young people in an educational setting by subbing at my children’s charter school.

We would not have become parents to yet another teenager.

I would not have attempted to spiritually direct young women on the path of righteousness as the Young Women’s president.

I would not have found myself enrolled in a class to learn to draw blood.  Now I have another certificate of completion with my name on it. 

Because of 2012, we had to help navigate our oldest in her first car wreck.

If it were not for 2012, I would not have gotten to hear J. strum beautiful songs on her guitar after hours of instruction from a wonderful teacher and rare practice on the student’s part.

I would not have gotten to watch M. sing O Holy Night at her voice lesson recital and hold her award from festival. 

I would not have heard C. play at her first piano recital and perform in her second dance recital.

If it was not 2012, we would not have become proud owners of a purebred German Shepherd that we rescued who attached herself strongly to J.  Thus making it so J. had to make a hard decision to give away her dog Kavak of 3 years.

2012 found us delivering our first litter of puppies from our Riley whom we rescued so that our son could experience newborn puppies for the first time and renew the fun that our girls have had in the past.  We sold them all but one.

If it was not for 2012, I would not have sent my son off to school all day  and found myself with extra hours during the day that I have completely filled now, but before September could not figure how I would be able to do that.

Because of 2012, our children all got to participate in 4-H and earning lots of ribbons. 

If it was not for 2012, T would not have found himself flying his flag upside down in his front yard. 

Because of 2012, T has become more mechanically inclined, more resourceful, and more watchful.

If it was not for 2012, we would not have had to be confused about when the end of the world was. 

I would not have had the opportunity of celebrating a once in a millennium birthday in December.

So here’s to the end of 2012 and hoping that 2013 finds us wiser, healthier, and happier.

Reflection

Here I am another year older.  These are cellphone pictures, so they are what they are.  I thought I should document what I look like at this age. 

Every year on my birthday I write a journal entry, that entry was, in the past, written in a actual hold in your hand journal.  Well, I am embracing the digital age even more this year and have decided to write that entry here. 

I have been thinking about this for a few days now.  I am not sure why I am more melancholy about this age than I have been in the past, it could be the events that have recently happened to me or that I am getting closer to 40 every year.  Yet, maybe it is because there are some goals and desires in my life that have not been reached yet, and I am wavering towards resigning myself to the fact that maybe they will not come to fruition.  Some of them seem just within reach and others I cannot even imagine where to begin at the moment. 

I really miss my mom this year.  I have known T as many years as I had lived with my parents this year.  There are things in my life that I just know she could truly empathize with right now, and I could really use that. 

What I do know at this age is that I have so many more things to accomplish.  I have not reached my true potential yet, but little by little I see some progress.  I KNOW that I need to fight harder for my family.  I KNOW that I need to focus more on the spiritual and less on the temporal.  I KNOW that my husband loves me and my crazy.  I KNOW that my children love and need me. I KNOW that I am being prepared and refined for something far greater than I can imagine at this point. 

I just need to remember this when my mind is swirling in the abyss of guilt and insecurities and when my heart is aching for the things I so desire yet have not been able to receive.

This year I am going to fight harder for the things I LOVE.  That is my FOCUS.  I am going to find my PASSIONS again.  I have neglected them for far too long. 

Ahem…..

What we will not talk about is:

• How long it has been since I have typed something on this blog.
• The fact that there are no pictures in this post.
• Our oldest daughter getting in her first fender bender (everyone is okay).
• My tire blowing up while driving (I’m okay).
• How little sleep I got over the last 2 1/2 months.
• How half my house is still decorated for Halloween.

Since we are not talking about any of that, let’s talk about the following:

• I am FINISHED with my phlebotomy course.  I can now successfully draw blood and specimen on people.  If you question my capability, just ask T, my mom-in-law, M, my dad, and several friends how their experience was. 
• We bought us a car so that I would have something a little more fuel efficient to drive around.  I like it.  I think M would like it too if I would let her drive it instead of her beat up car, but see number 3 above, it probably will not happen for awhile.
• We bred a litter of lab puppies that produced 4 chocolate, 4 black and 1 white lab.  We gave the dad away to a family who wanted a family dog.  T kept one of the puppies for himself and M bought one from her dad for herself.  So we have 4 dogs. 
• J had to do one of the hardest things she has had to do in her life so far and that was to decide which dog she wanted to keep for herself.  She has a tender spot for animals like her daddy, but realistically we could not have more than 3 dogs. (I know if you do the math you wonder how 4+1 is 3 but M has to take care of her own dog and get her own dog food since she has a job.) J earns her dog food by taking care of the other dogs.  Anyway, we had recused a German Shepherd and she is beautiful and smart.  She attached herself to J (go figure), so J decided to allow Kavak to go to a family who would love him as much as she did.  T and J took Raven (German Shepherd) to an obedience class and that was the best money spent. 
• We had our young women in excellence, and I am just so blessed with a great group of young women.  They did such an awesome job.  I am thankful to be their leader. I am blessed to have such great leaders to work with as well.  They do an awesome job.

Stay tuned for another day of sharing hopefully with pictures.

Monday Minute

This is our Raven, and she is such a smart dog. Her temperament Is quite different than our labs.

TIME

Is anyone else wondering where the summer went, yeah…me too.
Once school got out in June, I was really kind of hoping for a nice calm summer, but that was just not the case. 
The kids got out of school, we signed papers on our new house and immediately got to work at moving in.  Moving is hard work and trying to do it and hold down jobs and keep obligations is a juggling act that can be quite harried. 

This is our new house.  I am truly loving it.  We have an acre, which we are taking great advantage of with a garden and berries and eventually fruit trees.  I should take a more current picture, because our yard does not look like this anymore, because T has worked his green magic on it and it is lush and very green now.  We downsized 1000 square feet, but I am not missing it.  There are plans for a shop in the future, for T to tinker in and storage.

M and J went on the youth trek this summer.  Poor M got heat exhaustion and severely sunburned.  She had to ride in the wagon.  The doctor just told her last week that once you have gotten heat exhaustion, you are more susceptible to getting it again in the future. Her sunscreen just was not effective for her.   J came back no sunburn but very dirty.  They had a great experience.





  They were home for a week and then we went to girls' camp.

We went to Alturas where we repelled and canoed.  I went on the second-year hike with J.  It was nice to spend some time with M and J and all my girls I am over at church. 

M got her driver's license and it has been the greatest blessing.  We have been grateful that she can run errands.  It just in time for the craziness of this fall. 

We had cousins come to visit, but we are so involved in 4-H and swimming lessons this year that we did not have as much time to be able to spend with them, but we did get some time in. 

M went to EFY again this year. I love to hear the daily reports of what went on and the spiritual growth that comes from this experience.

Now, here we are almost to the end of August, and things have changed so much.  T is working hard and has been busy preparing for the winter.  He just built our woodstove hearth.  I will put a picture up of the finished product after stove is intstalled.
I just got a job at the hospital, which has been one of my goals since we moved back.  I start my phlebotomy course next week.  If I get a certain grade in the class, the hospital will reimburse me for it.  This next semester will be so full.  My class is one semester, but it is M, T, Thurs, and all day Saturday.  Then I will be working 20 hours for the hospital and whatever I can with my transcription.  Let's hope I can put an update on here once in awhile.  We are busy with 4-H and preparing for the fair.  I was hoping for a nice slow week before school starts, but that is not to be, because my garden has just gone crazy and I have some canning to do. 

Are You Still There?

Hello?  Is anyone out there still?  I am not surprised if you are not.  I have been terrible about posting the details of our lives on this here blog for quite some time.  Things have been crazy since.…well a long time. 

But just to touch on a few things.  We FINALLY sold our home.  We have BOUGHT a new one, and are truly counting down the days when we can sign papers, move in, and get our family back into a routine and lifestyle that we have missed for quite awhile now. 

Once the papers are signed, I will share more about things. 

C. had her 10th birthday where I took her and a friend to get manicures and then to Panda Express for dinner.  They LOVED it!

We had a surprise birthday party for M. I think it was successful. 

We had a DJ and threw her a dance party.  We had a chocolate fountain with different items to dip in it, and that went over real well with everybody. 

J. had a quiet birthday because life was too crazy for another party, so she will be having friends over when we get moved and settled.

J. also has gone from wearing glasses to sporting contacts now.  We just got used to the glasses and now we are adjusting to her without them. 

C. had her first dance competition.  She did a great job. They got Excellent.  The reason there are no videos or pictures are because I have packed pretty much everything up for now. 

I was able to go on a field trip to the YMCA with K.  We had a fun time.  They did lots of activities. This was my favorite called “Drums Alive.”  I got to do it as well, and it was great exercise.

We are wrapping up the school year, which means that we will be spending time at school year productions and recitals. 

I have started a new job that is at nights.  I do my transcribing in the mornings.  I just signed up for a class in the fall to do phlebotomy, And I am still the young women’s president. 

T. is working four 10-hour days and helping me out wherever I need it.  We are such a great team.  T. and K. just went on their very first father/son campout.  I have never seen two boys so EXCITED to do this.  They had a great time. 

There is lots more to type about, but I am tired and have a big week ahead of me, so I will have to save it for another time.

Just Not Feeling It

 

We are into the second month of the year, and I really do have some fun things to blog about, but right now I am just not feeling it. 

I will not go into detail, but this blog has been my record for our family, so I will briefly mention my feelings here.

I am to a point where my hope is diminishing, but yet to type or think it makes me feel EXTREMELY guilty because of the tender mercies I and my family  have received over the last months. 

I keep wondering how much will be enough.  How much do we have to sacrifice before it is finally enough.  What more can I do but pray for mercy--for a miracle.  I endlessly search the scriptures for solace---for peace.   I’m trying so HARD to find any answer; but right now I believe I’m going through that fire, which hopefully will give me far more understanding and knowledge than I have right now, and I WILL be grateful for it. 

Just right now. I. am. not. feeling. it.

The New Year

The new year has begun, and we are hoping for good things to come. We are already starting with new jobs and new callings in church. We hope to no longer own a home in Kansas soon, but only the Lord knows the outcome of that.

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